I love raiding.
I love it.
It is by far my favorite aspect of World of Warcraft. It’s the one that made me feel that this was my game. The social aspect has also been a very important one, but with raiding I can fulfill that need while also feeling productive, part of a team. I really love the way that 10+ people can coordinate their efforts without speaking (for the most part, after you learn the strategy for the fight) and accomplish the task, and celebrate afterwards.
Last night, I was reminded of something. I was reminded that sometimes these boss fights aren’t all fun and games, and sometimes they are frustrating and seem quite stupid. Last night, I was feeling some of the same feelings with the last couple times I took a break from the game. When I was in a guild that was hardcore, bleeding edge, where I wasn’t having a jot of fun and was in tears most nights after raid, due to frustration.
That scares me.
I love raiding, but I’m also getting to the point now where I loathe raiding. I don’t like how the higher ilvl gear is worse stat-wise for me, which means I’ve blindly picked up pieces, and got rid of old ones, that aren’t in fact upgrades, even though they’re from another tier of content. This is very frustrating. I also feel as if I’m doing everything right that I can insofar as my rotation and class abilities. I’m not perfect, believe me I’m the first to admit I make mistakes, but I’m doing the best that I can. It doesn’t feel like enough.
Do I try key binding? I have a few abilities key bound, but I’m just not used to that play style, so I feel as if that would be a broader learning curve. I don’t have a fancy smancy mouse with all the buttons on the side, and I don’t really want to go out and purchase one.
My guild is a semi-casual one, but that doesn’t mean we don’t get things done, and I feel like I’m getting to a point right now where I’m not only not getting those things done, but I’m not having fun raiding.
There. I said it. I’m not having fun raiding. I love progression fights, I love slowly but surely eking out the strategy, figuring out nuances of the fight, each attempt getting closer and closer, but…
For all the usual reasons, I don’t want to quit raiding. Mainly because I don’t like that ‘quit’ word, but also because then I would begin the process of oh, I’ll be behind on gear. I’ll be behind on content. Everyone will surpass me and I’ll feel like I’m being carried, since the only seamless way to ease into a raid tier is at the beginning of an expansion, unless you can PUG raids.
I’m not ready to throw in the towel just yet, but I might be.. squinting.. in the direction of the towel.